NOTHING

This, i have to say, is my first official internet diary. I barely write the diary in the free time since i am not that kind of person who like to utilize the words to record the precious memory of myself, which, i guess, is kind of wasting my time. It's 1 a.m. now and i couldn't fall sleep. Partly coz i drank a lot of tea in the afternoon after the windows shopping with my grandparents, but the main reasons is that i am so scared of my IELTS test result which may be known in 2 days. Can you imagine the feeling that i have been working so hard in English but the result would be disappointing? I have already being hurt the last time that after the whole month working i still got 6 in this fucking test that may help me to gain the opportunity to carry on my future learning in Hong Kong. To be quite honest, i was quite sharked that i got 6 in my first IELTS test coz i felt so terrible when i was walking out of the testing classroom where i experience my first official English test in which the whole process was operated by some foreign people. I knew my basic knowledge about English was not so excellent and i guess the main reason would be the realistic that i was not into English when i was a primary school student around 8 years old. Ironically, i spent the whole senior year to prepare for the test and in order to do this, i have abandon much time of my own, like mingling with each other, relaxing myself, developing my own interest and so on. Suddenly, i realize that i have been wasting so much time just for this stupid test. What was the wrong with me?! As the old saying goes: no pain no gain.But why it didn't work on me. why?why? I blame myself without any reasonable excuse.

I have been suffering a serious headache that derived from some kind of disease related to the nose and coz of this, my learning was really really inefficient. Consequently, i must spent the extra time to makeup the time i wasted, which i think may be the reason why i got nothing in the past 1 month when i spent almost the whole day to learn English which is widely thought to be the indispensable tool in the future.

However, i must admit that it is the time spending on English in the last 1 years that help me to improve my English to a future level, although i still believe that my English sucks to some extent or compared with some friends of mine. As a matter of fact, when i communicate with the foreigns, some mistake and misunderstanding would be made by me, which sometimes give rise to an awkward occasion. Thus, i am kind of afraid of talking with the alien people, not to mention having a face-to-face conversation with the examiner who decide the final scores of the part of oral English in the test.

Today, i have shown my true color, my real feeling actually. So no matter what is the result of the test, i have to be strong to continue my thirst for the knowledge. Don't let this little setback and difficult kick your ass. I believe i can do it.