Talking to you or about you only pains me

Ever since that chat I had with him where he got mad at me for being unreasonable himself, I haven’t thought much of him. I don’t know. I feel relieved in a way because I got his attention and maybe that’s all I wanted. I still think about him. But definitely not that much anymore. Although I do tell people that I still miss him. Because I do. Just not as strong as previously. I’m still waiting for me to send me the first text so I can respond. Yet I doubt that’s gonna happen. I’m really out here waiting for him to cave in because he was the one who told me to not talk to him. Sure, I won’t. Whatever. Talking to you or about you only pains me.I fixed up our discord’s emojis and saw him using them today. I don’t wanna be that bitch to think that he’s thinking of me. But I am that bitch. He used it 3 times today, for all the new emojis I added. My bet is that he is too pussy to send that first message. Then again, why tell me that only you can hit me up when you don’t have the balls to admit that you miss me? I have other wonderful things to look forward to now, whether or not you want to hit me up. I have a lot of things planned for December. Campfire with friends, Amber concert, possibly Ailee and a trip outta the country. What more can I ask for? I was gonna go Seattle for a visit to my friends there for Christmas. I guess god didn’t want me to go, and my parents are going back to China again. If god says it’s not the move, then it certainly is not. I believe in him.